Yesterday ...

While the sun rises on my window,
and I wake up to this new day,
I know it in me, it won’t be
a day like yesterday.

There are tough decisions
I will have to make today.
And, it won’t be as simple
as it was yesterday.

I’ve date with my dreams today,
at the end of that slippery road.
And, it won’t be a smooth ride
as it was yesterday.

The stakes are high and the
challenges are much bigger today.
And I know, I won’t be as lucky
as I was yesterday.

All I can do is smile when
I look back at my traveled way.
I guess I know it now, the
only easy day … was yesterday.

Long over-due.

I didn't write this mail just for that blog link I reckon....
May be I just wanted to see you online after coming home, like in good ol' days,
Or just send in a sweet mail, writing wonderful it was to see you in this horrible phase.
Or may be to tell you that we should do this more often...

I didn’t write this mail expecting a sweet reply …
May be I just wanted to wish you goodnight, like in good ol’ days,
Or to simply let you know everything beautiful always stays.
Or may be to tell you how the years have went by…

I didn’t write this mail to tell you something new...
May be we can just go out and roam in Colaba, like in good ol' days,
Or just sit across the table, eat and laugh about the world's funny ways.
I did write in to say - so much my friend, is long over-due...

The Great Equalizer – 2

This story is the concluding part of The Great Equalizer – 1. Please do not read further in case you haven’t read the first part. Please read the first part and return…

The Deads have successfully conceived The Great Equalizer. They were optimistic, delighted and content, the Passionates on the other hand were occupied with their work. During the same period (late 1860s), an outfit of Scientists was engrossed with colossal calculations, research papers and rock minerals. These scientists were computing the age of earth and they were close to making some breakthrough revelations which will attract response from everyone, including the Church.

The Origin of Species (1859) was published during the papacy of Pope Pius IX, who defined dogmatically papal infallibility during the First Vatican Council in 1869-70. The council and the Churches in Europe were furious with the Passionates as their research and calculations (on age of the Earth) were intrusive to their faith. The Gods-men were furious with Passionates and this proved to be a divine sanction for the Deads. Deads could not have asked for a better arena … The Great Equalizer was now endorsed by the Vatican. A brand endorsed by an upset Pope, promoted by furious clergy and followed by desperate Deads could have never failed.

The most crucial meeting before the massive propagation of The Great Equalizer was held in Dublin in 1870s. All the records, notes and logs of the meeting were to be burnt after it was over. The meeting was attended by Pope, representatives from various churches in Europe, Planning and organizing committee of The Great Equalizer and a few eminent men from clergy. During the course of this meeting some strategic decisions will be taken and they will change the future of mankind …forever. The Great Equalizer was to be positioned as an ‘institution’ and ‘necessary evil’. The Great Equalizer should be fundamental to every one’s life and it should eventually determine one’s society worthiness. For the first time in the history of mankind so many men were agreeing to a doctrine unanimously. The meeting that lasted for over nine hours saw forty-nine drafts being sanctioned with no objections whatsoever. Every soul present sensed victory, the atmosphere was jubilant and the air smelt of celebrations that evening. Every one returned home, burnt the logs and notes from meeting and raised a toast to Marriage. Yes, Marriage was the name given to The Great Equalizer that evening, and it still remains unchanged in its essence, values and positioning.

Today, more than hundred years later The Great Equalizer has delivered what was expected from it. Many a passionate men get converted into a regular married guy once they enter this ‘institution’. The ideas of travel, adventure, instinctive decisions get transformed into EMIs, planning, organizing and savings for future. Married men sure become homogeneous; they have the same ideas, the same fears, the same aspirations, the same joys and even the same body language. They spend their time reading magazines on how to prolong excitement, how to fight hair loss, how to keep the spark alive in a relationship, how to tackle demanding wives, how to maintain a work-life balance, how to stay fit without going to gym, how to surprise your partner with a romantic getaway, how to manage your household expenditure without compromising on quality of life and so on. These magazines have become their literature, their wives have become their world, their 2 BHK flat in suburbs is their biggest dream and a visit to the nearby mall is nothing less than a romantic getaway.

The Great Equalizer - 1

‘They look so dead to me’ was my perpetual complain, and the reply was permanent too -“everyone is special in his own way” or “you shouldn’t judge people like that, there is something special in every person”. Twenty years hence, a lot has changed but their answers still resonate in my mind. I still wonder where did all this - 'everyone is special' came from. I seriously think that the world is pretty homogeneous right now in terms of consumption habits, environment issues, resources and most importantly – quality of population.

The human-race as I see it divided into two parts: Dead Men and Passionate Men. I know passion is the most abused word in English Dictionary these days (after Love and Attitude off course). To make it simpler for everyone - passion is what makes Peter Jackson accomplish LOTR trilogy, passion is the reason why Bhagat Singh died for his country, and passion is the reason why Rock makes you head-bang (and so much more). The Dead Men however, are exactly the opposite of passionate people. They form 90 percent of the human race and it’s not hard to spot them actually.

My research led me to two statements, and one of these was correct for sure:

1) If everyone is special in his own way, the world can’t have so many dead men.

2) If the world had so many dead men, then everyone can’t be special.

My research now needed some hardcore primary research. And I did it; most of the research was done on the internet though. Sample size was very close to a thousand men. The sample was not homogeneous by any standards. Research covered men from various nationalities, religion, financial backgrounds, states, race, and continents. The results of this year long research didn’t surprise me at all … the world indeed has 90% population as dead men. So it is safe to say that everyone here on earth isn’t special.

This blog entry however, wasn’t about proving Dead Men > Passionate Men. I strongly believe that there is some truth in the quote – ‘every man is special’ and there would have surely been some time when the world had more Passionates than the Deads. So what went wrong? How come the world is reduced to what it is right now? Why is the species of Passionates on a decline? How did the rise of Deads started and what triggered it? What is it that converted this world into a homogeneous world? I have been living with these questions for years now, and fortunately I am getting close to finding the answers. In order to understand it, we need to go back in time …

In 1864 Herbert Spencer coins a phrase after reading Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species. The phrase was true and curt, the phrase — ‘Survival of the fittest’ was first published in his Principles of Biology (1864). And it did invite a lot of attention and reactions from academicians. The phrase however, was also a warning bell for some people in the society. Within days the world was full of secret societies and underground associations of frightened men. These men were scared for a number of reasons, but the most important reasons were- these men knew they are ‘unfit’ (mediocre and non-passionate or deads) and they feared their extinction because they were in minority.

Most of the celebrities in those times were scientists, photographers, artists and film-directors (unlike Paris Hilton, Rakhi Sawant and Rahul Mahajan of these times). These people were really passionate about their work and therefore got the best of women. This made the Deads (unfits) even more paranoid. The Deads craved for these women, they had to win them over but there was just no way they could have done it. Passionates on the other hand, kept doing what they did best and were never so bothered about women actually.

After months of brain-storming and strategizing the Deads finally made a breakthrough. This indeed meant a lot to them, since this can ensure a future for their future generations. They came up with something which will be ‘the great equalizer’. This will change the future of human-race and make it homogeneous. It will soon bring in times when ‘something different in every man’ will be obsolete …

Evening by the bay ...

I lay there – unmoved and docile,

feeling the sand beneath my feet,

being washed away every while.

The sun decides to call it a day,

horizon turns into a messy color pallet ,

from blues to reds and then grey.

The Cimmerian shade takes over,

waves sense their moment of freedom,

and become raucous and louder .

This show full of plentitude and exuberance,

is an everyday spectacle at the bay.

How can it give me so much peace?

I wonder as I walk back on my way …

This rat might fly...

It was a much needed break from the material city life. Material city life? Yes, that is what I meant to say. These days I think about it a lot and I really wonder if I am in the rat race as well? There is no doubt I am in the race. I have a job, EMI, tax return file, resume on naukri.com, responsibilities which I am procrastinating, credit card and my (many) aspirations.

On this ride I met this German guy at Toni Da Dhaba, Kamshet. He came in riding on his Royal Enfield Electra, and he had the world’s largest backpack on his back. After a critical analysis of his motor-cycle, my eyes went to his backpack. And they couldn’t move. Is he a new generation of hippie who travels with luxuries? Someone who has his entire wardrobe with him including his cuff links, perfumes and hangers. I was wondering what can possibly be in that huge bag.Is he a rat with a backpack?

“Your bikes are lot cleaner than mine” he said with a smile. He was fair (off course he got a table first, though we were there before him in waiting list), he was almost 6”2 (I bet anything smaller couldn’t carry that bag) and he had a face of a kid. I smiled back. Then a conversation followed, which I won’t be able to forget in times to come.

I smiled back and said “Yeah. Hello. Where are you from?” Though, I actually wanted to say ‘Yeah. What’s in that bag dude?’

“Hello. I am from Germany and I have been living in India for two years now.”

“Wow. Two years? Where all have you been riding?”

He smiled “not much. I have been living here”

“What do you do here?”

“I fly”. He answered simply, as if it’s a no big deal at all.

Then it struck me like lighting. Kamshet is known for Para-gliding and it must be his gear in that bag.

I asked “Para-gliding?”

He smiled “Yup”

I threw the big question now “and is that your gear in that bag?”

He said “Yup.” He added “But we might just move on from here.”

“We? Who is we here?” Though I knew it will be his hippie friends.

“Me, my wife and my two kids” he answered.

I was surprised. He sure belongs to some different genre. “That’s nice” is all I could say.

“My wife is an Indian. She doesn’t want to go to Germany because it will be too cold for her. So we have decided to move to Spain. She thinks she will like it.” He tells me in a matter of fact way.

“She also flies here?” I asked, thinking how lucky his wife actually is.

“No. She runs a guest house here. “By this time he was all set with his gear on his Electra. He was about to leave. Another question came to my mind.

“What will you do in Spain?”

He laughed. A child-like carefree laugh. “Don’t ask me that”. He kicks his Electra. “I will live” smiles, waves and rides to Kamshet.

Those last two words just stuck on me. I kept thinking and thinking about it. Some people indeed have their life, purpose and family sorted out.

I have things which I am passionate about and I follow these passions to the best of my ability. Rats do not follow passions, I believe. And there are certain other characteristics of rats that I don’t comply with. So maybe I am a different kind of rat - A rat who is not too interested in the cat and mouse thing. But then it leads me to an entirely new set of questions. Questions, fuck-ups, dilemma, pressures and more questions … what will I do about it?

The very next moment, visual of that German on his motor-cycle comes to my mind. Kicks off, waves, says “I will live.” and rides off ...

P.S. : 'The Departed' is one of my favourite films. Every time I hear the word 'rat', The Departed comes to my mind.

बे'कार' की बात ....

बात कुछ उन दिनों की है,

जब मैं कॉलेज में पढता था.

उन दिनों जब किसी की नयी कार को देखता,

तो मन प्रसन्न हो जाता था.

मन में सपने फूटते, और मैं कार को

उन्नति का एक प्रतीक मानता था.

वो मेरी कॉलेज वाली अमेरिकेन सोच में

अब काफी भारत-पन आया है.

अब कोई नयी कार देख के, मन

कहता है "यह सब मोह-माया है".

उस सज्जन को मेरा दिल गाली देता है,

"साले यहाँ ट्राफ्फिक तूने ही बढाया है"

मैंने भी एक मोटर-साइकिल लाके,

इस ट्राफ्फिक में योगदान किया है.

और इसी ने मेरे और कार वालों के,

समीकरण को एक नया मोड़ दिया है.

इनके पैने होर्न और अहंकारी ढंग ने,

मेरे गुस्से की आग को घी दिया है.

एक वातानुकूलित बंद डब्बे में बैठके,

ये कार वाले स्वयं को शहंशाह समझते हैं

अपनी गाडी पे लाल रंग का 'L' चिपकाकर,

सड़क को अपनी जागीर और खुद को शूमी समझते हैं.

और तो और बारिश का पानी,

राहगीरों पर उछालकर,

खुद को मनोरंजित भी करते हैं.

मेरे कार वाले हम-राही दोस्तों, आज हम

मोटर-साइकिल वाले तुमको एक सीख देते हैं.

सड़क को एक साधन या अतिवेदना मत समझो,

हम लोग तो सफ़र को ही मंजिल बना लेते हैं.

अपनी पॉवर-विंडोस खोलो और कभी मौसम का मज़ा लो,

हम तो सूरज को भाई और चाँद को महबूबा कहते हैं.

पर कभी कभी मुझे तुम लोगों के लिए बहुत बुरा लगता है,

क्यूँकि 'टोल' तुम देते हो और सड़क का लुत्फ़ हम उठा लेते हैं.

Exit Clause

I was always in two minds if I should write this or not. The two minds however, are convinced due to the following two reasons:
a) I have already written and posted my feelings for sun and the moon. Sadly we just have one sun and one moon for earth. Hence, it is safe to assume that I am in dearth of original ideas.
b) Since I am single, I am more vulnerable to acts of crime like these.

My job makes me deal with a lot of service provides, fondly called as vendors. When my company selects a vendor/agency over the other agencies, after considering several factors (read cost) an agreement is signed between the two. The most interesting thing for me in these agreements is the ‘exit clause’. I wonder who invented this Exit Clause, how did it came into practice and how it became essential to these agreements.

I might not be a charmer, an extrovert or someone who wears party wear to work. Still, I have my servile ways of getting attention from the opposite sex. “Oh Devesh, you are so different than other guys I have seen” is what they always say but sadly I have found them all same (with a few cosmetic changes though). I have classified them in the following types for greater understanding. It is however, possible for one person to fit in more than one type. So depending on their acts and type, the Exit Clause is used.

Type 1: “Ignorance is Bliss”
I heard this phrase (Ignorance is bliss) from my guitar teacher – Mr. Naveen Malvea in 2002. Somehow I never understood it completely back then, but now I know what ignorance means comprehensively. In short, ignorant are not those who don’t know much, but ignorant are those who can produce rationale (with conviction mind you) to justify their ignorance. These are the ones who want to remain in that bliss, which I despise.
An example of this type is as follows:
She: So what kind of music you listen to?
Me: Hmm … rock, qawwali, sufi, old hindi music, gazals and Pink Floyd. And you?
She: Everything (read: Nothing). And I like old hindi music and hate rock.
Me: Nice. What old music you listen to? Hemant Kumar and Manna Dey ??
She: Dude, who is Hemant Kumar? I have heard Manna Dey lol
Me: He has sung some legendary hindi songs. “Chhupa lo yoon dil mein pyaar mera”
She: wait. You like such uncle ji songs? Lol
Me: Yes. That’s what old hindi music (from films) is about. What do you listen to?
She: Kishore Kumar
Me: Hmm .. he is good. But you should listen to these legends too…
She: No. I won’t. I think they are too boring.
Me: (by now I know where it is headed). BORING? You THINK?
She: yes dude. Boring, no music no beats. And you are no one to tell me who I should listen to. It’s my personal choice. I am happy listening Kishore, I will listen to him.

Fortunately, the exit clause came into picture here.
Action taken: Blocked from chat list.
Notice period: Nil.

Type 2: The Fakers.
Well we know what fake is, so I wouldn’t explain this types.
An example of the same is here:
Me: Well I just saw Inception. What an awesome film!!
She: Really? You have already seen it?
Me: Off course. For a film featuring Leonardo, directed by Nolan and Music by Zimmer …someone like me can’t wait.
She: Wow. I envy you. And btw I am a huge Leonardo fan too (smiley)
Me: Oh yes. I love that actor. I think if he continues like this he will soon be termed legend.
She: I think he is too sweet and chocolaty to be in that league.
Me: (scratching my head). Chocolaty? Are we talking about Leonardo DiCaprio?
She: Off course.
Me: (was hoping she was talking of someone else). Have you seen The Departed?
She: No. I don’t like action films.
Me: Ok. (Seeing her FB profile, that says she is in love with DiCaprio)
She: hmmmmmm
Me: (couldn’t help asking) which films of DiCaprio have you seen?
She: Titanic.
Me: And??
She: Tried watching Aviator. That was so shitty.
Me: I loved that film (I seriously did). Have seen it more than ten times (smiley)
She: What? How can you? I pity you dude. (Smiley)

Any more words here would have made Exit Clause helpless. So, I chose to quit.

Action taken: Blocked from chat list.
Removed from FB friend’s list.
Profile reported to FB as ‘fake profile’ (just for my satisfaction)


Type 3: The baby-sitters.
Well, we all like someone who cares. There is however, a huge difference between caring and baby-sitting. Please read the following conversation for more clarity. For your information I had barely met this girl 2-3 times and she talked as if we were married for 5 years.
She: Wassup?
Me: Office yaa. Working.
She: Did you have lunch?
Me: Yep.
She: What did you have?
Me: I had a chicken sub at Subway.
She: OMG. How can you eat the same thing every single day?
Me: I like it. It’s healthy. And I keep changing the type of chicken in sub.
She: lol. Really? There are different types of chicken? Lol. One is black. One is white. One is Asian.
Me: Not really. Like there are different kinds of mangoes. Smiley
She: Chicken is the same. And you shouldn’t have it everyday.
Me: (already cursing myself for talking about chicken with a vegetarian) OK.
She: Wow. You agreed? You are such a sweet guy.
Me: I didn’t agree. But what is the point talking about chicken with a vegetarian. So, I said ok. Let’s not talk about it.
She: Yeah. Cool. What are you doing in the eve?
Me: I will be late (just to play safe, I didn’t want to see her and eat veg sandwich)
She: Ok. I will be free in next fifteen minutes. (smiley)
Me: Cool (I was expecting this. Grins inside)
She: What about your dinner?
Me: There is a farewell party at office tonight. One of my very good friend and team members has put in his papers. So we will give him a farewell.
She: Which means you will be drinking tonight?
Me: Was that a question?
She: Why do you drink everyday?
Me: Last time I drank was 20 days back (it was 18 though, when I think of it)
She: Once a month is not enough for you?
Me: It’s an occasion. (smiley)
She: So is there just one way of celebrating all your occasions?
Me: No, not really. If he was a rider friend, we would have done a ride and beer for him. (why the hell I am explaining it)
She: See … BEER again.
Me: Smiley (Irritated by now)
She: Why don’t you quit drinking Devesh?
Me: Why should I? (frustrated)
She: Because I would like that (smiley)
(tipping point)

I am sure you are feeling suffocated reading this. I almost choked that day, so I opted for the Exit Clause.

Action Taken: Ignore forever.
Notice period: A month.

Note: This is a docu-drama. I didn’t intend to make fun of any of my muse. However, if I have offended someone, I am sorry (but I also fear that you are one of the above mentioned types).
Appu's latest blog entry was also part of my inspiration to write this one.